Sex After Menopause


It is often felt that sex is only for the young and attractive and with declining age and drive (in both sexes) whatever interest one had in sex also goes down, very often leading to misunderstandings. It is commonly seen that while women attribute the lack of sexual activity to lack of interest on part of their husbands, men blame the non-performance to a lack of interest in their wives.

The million-dollar question "Is declining sexual interest the result or the cause of less frequent intercourse?" Just like egg and chicken! Age is certainly the commonest cause of failing sex drives in men, prevalent myths coming a close second. Many women still believe (?wrongly) men have stronger desires than women.

The beginning of menopause can provide a feeling of liberation for some women, which may lead to an increased interest in sex. Whereas, in other women there is a definite decline in libido or sex drive.


Will intercourse be difficult after menopause?

Certainly there are real changes that come with aging. As skin sensitivity diminishes, foreplay with the breasts and nipples loses some of its stimulating effect. Genital foreplay is also uncomfortable. In older women the rate of lubrication is slow, just as it takes longer for older men to achieve an erection, many women unnecessarily avoid intercourse because of pain and anxiety - in some cases these problems could be alleviated by vaginal lubricants and the application can prove enjoyable for both partners.

My husband doesn't seem interested. Is it me?

Many men fear that when they are older they will fail sexually because of their own inadequacy. An older man may take longer to achieve ejaculation, or may not be able to, but it is not necessary to ejaculate every time intercourse takes place. It is akin to a younger man being anxious for premature ejaculation. But this makes the woman think that he is NOT interested in her and than starts a beeline to the parlour or the magical beauty treatments. If you know these facts you can make allowances for, rather than demand on your partner.

Will I still experience orgasms?

Certainly, any woman who experienced orgasms before menopause will continue to experience them after. If you have experienced a poor quality of sex life before menopause, then it diminish further. You must understand that aging need not affect your sexual capacity until much later in her life, particularly if regular sexual stimulation takes place.

I feel guilty about feeling sexual at may age. Am I wrong?

Like so much of the menopause the impact of natural aging leaves women prone to psychological reactions that can lead to sexual problems. At any age sexual effectiveness can be reduced by doubts about performance; both men and women tend to resort to recriminations. Most sexual problems of this nature could be avoided if men and women were better prepared for normal genital changes. You should be prepared to talk it over a cup of tea and then the pervading myths and distorted misinformation handed down through generations will not affect your sex life.

Menopause is certainly no reason of healthy men and women to retire sexually. If you do, then it is Voluntary Retirement Scheme with zero benefits.